Who Is It For?

Last week a heard a couple of conversations between parents and teachers which truly had me shaking my head. One involved parents who were concerned that their child was only achieving A's and B+'s on their report card and they wanted to know how they could help her improve. The second equally puzzling piece of parenting was the mother who announced that their child spent 2 to 3 hours practicing the piano everyday, on top of several other classes each week which filled in her spare time. Like with the sports parent who lives their life through the success of their child on the field or at the rink, you have to ask the question, "Who is it for?" If the child were given the choice would they decide to spend each waking hour pursuing so called excellence? There is nothing wrong with children striving to do well in school. Following a geniune interest in sports or arts can be rewarding. But filling a child's head with the notion that their worth comes from high marks or trophies is to negate everything that is wonderful in the ordinary life of being a child. Be careful what you expect from your children or students. Ask yourself what the motivation behind it all is. If you cannot honestly say it is for the child themself, then you are fooling yourself and your child.