Openess

We all know someone who is competely closed off to life, stuck in their ways, unable to bend even when it is clear that their path is going nowhere.



      There are things we like a lot, others not so much.  Sometimes we react to events in one way, other times we behave differently. These are all part of what we are, they come and go in our lives, and that's good.  The problem begins when we start to identify with the way we live, when we start to put labels on ourselves.  You hear it all the time, people mixing up their actions and penchants with who they are. "I'm a no nonsense type of person. I'm stubborn. I don't take anything from anyone. I'm happy go lucky." On it goes. Labels, pigeon holes, categories.  Here's the thing. Behind these identities there is nothing solid, because they are simply ideas we have made up in order to protect ourselves from being real. When we place a stamp on ourselves we have no need to allow anything new into our repertiore, we can simply carry on the way we always have, whether it serves us or not.  The more we identify with all of this, the less we are able to accept new ideas or change the way we look at the world. Soon we are completely closed off, insulated from the flow of life.  How can you possibly deal with young children when you are in this state? Think of some of the teachers you have had and you will easily be able to pick out the ones to whom I am refering. And what did they have to offer to their kids? Nothing, because that's what all that pretense amounts to. Nothing. Getting back to where we started, we all have preferences and biases. Nothing wrong with that. But, remember they are only appearances. They come and go with the flow of life. As long as that is where you leave them, then life will flow course through you as if you were made of mist, but once you start to identify, even cherish these things, you will become cold, frozen, and nothing will be able to pierce your armour. Perhaps you will be safe from life. But what do you have to offer your students, or anyone at this point?

No More Lies

Let's suppose for a moment that we decided to be totally honest, with ourselves and with others. Not the kind of honesty that has to announce that you cheated on your diet, or had naughty thoughts about someone. No, I'm talking about owning up to the lies we tell ourselves to help justify the things we do in this life. Outside of the classroom, and more specifically, in the classroom. When we tell ourselves that we know what is best for our kids, do we?  When we say we are doing what is best for the students, is it? What about the times we act harshly, or make expectations that are out of reach and we convince ourselves that we are acting in our kids best interest. Are we? There are a hundred stories we tell ourselves to make us feel better about the way we carry ourselves in the class. Problem is, in the long run they don't really make us feel better, and they certainly do not make us better teachers. What can make us better is simply stepping back from ourselves for a moment and deeply seeing what we are doing. Deeply looking at our kids. Chances are, if you can do this honestly and with compassion, you will find that a lot of pretense will fall away. Then do you know what you are left with? Truth. A way a looking at what you are doing which has no deception. The charade is gone and you can see what you are doing for what is really is. Then a wonderful thing happens. You start acting from a place of integrity, openess, and compassion. There is no more need to lie to anyone, because what you are doing is completely honest, even when it may not be skillful. And it doesn't matter, because you see things for what they are, not what you want them to be. Then you can't help but make the changes you couldn't never make when you were lying to yourself, and the children in your care.