Stop Being A Teacher For Awhile

People tend to confuse who they are with what they do. We often identify ourselves with our job or role in life. When asked what we do we will more than likely reply, "I am a doctor, lawyer, accountant, waiter etc." As a quick reply this is fine. However, what happens in many cases is we equate our job or position with who we are. Once we start doing this there is the danger that we will try to become what we think our role is, rather than just being what we are. I am a lawyer so I should act like one, and have all the things a lawyer has. Or at least be the things that the general population perceives in a lawyer. Teachers often fall into this trap. The idea that they are a teacher starts to colour all of their dealings with kids. Separation is created. Once that happens we lose much of our ability to relate to our children and guide them in a meaningful way. Yes, we are the teacher, but that is only our function. We are there to help lead, direct, give our experience, everything a teacher should be doing. The trick is to avoid falling into the illusion of duality. Teacher and student have their distinct function and purpose, but we are still human beings, equal and yet different. Once we identify with our role, we create the idea of superior and inferior. We gain self-importance and lose effectiveness. Try for just one day losing your identification with your role and start concentrating on your purpose. Then let it become a habit.

Let It Go

Letting go is difficult sometimes. Letting go of those we care about can be a huge challenge. Yet as teachers, it is something we do all the time, perhaps without even thinking about it. What other life choice entails meeting a group of young people with all sorts of diverse personalities, getting to know them, becoming completely involved in their lives, more than likely growing very attached and then after ten months having to let them go? Sometimes you may stay connected if they are in the same school, but frequently, aside from a couple of visits in September, they walk out of your life forever once the school year ends. I ask you, how many folks do you know, other than teachers who can do that? And the amazing thing is that each year we do the same thing. Somewhere, somehow, we develop the capacity to be so close to these kids and yet when the time comes, we can set them off with a minimum of clinging and pain. Pretty amazing! Now if you can do that, just think how much easier it is to let go of petty
issues and grudges you may be tempted to hold onto in your days at school, whether they involve students or staff. Please think about it.

Spring Cleaning

It's April and it's been a long year. No matter how uplifting you find your career, the stress that piles on each day starts we wear you down somewhat by this time of the year. The thought of all of the testing, marking, evaluating and reporting, while juggling all the clubs and activities that you all do can take their toll on your spirits. Remember, at this time in particular, to take time away from it all. Perhaps this is the time to take a couple of me/you days and just do the things you love to do; read, bike ride, hang out in nature or just hide away at home. Whatever you do, always be mindful that any feelings of hopelessness, being taken for granted or being overwhelmed are simply that. They are feelings, they come and they go. In the end they have nothing to do with our why we teach and they cannot affect our love for the kids we work with, unless we give them power. Step back and see that it's totally okay to be frustrated and tired. Then take some time for yourself, to rejuvenate, and then damn it, get back in there and enjoy those last couple of months of the year.

People are always looking for happiness, it's even in the U.S. constitution. Kids bounce the word around constantly. They are happy because they did well on a test, it is their birthday or they have a candy. Teachers carry on the same way. Happiness is a weekend, a holiday or a new car. For some reason we have this idea that there is this event or thing that magically has the power to bring us happiness. But when we are not happy for one of these tangible reasons, then what are we? If these things were taken away could it be possible to still be happy? Why are some people content and at peace whether they have something or not?

All of this shows that we have missed something along the way and our children are growing up with the same sense of need and lack. The good news is that there is really nothing missing in our lives at all. It's all made up. We are alive and that in itself is a miracle. Somewhere we have forgotten to see that magic all around us. It is cliched but a poignant truth that we fail to smell the roses. And worse still, we teach our kids to ignore the roses and go looking for happiness elsewhere. Well, it ain't there. It's right here all the time. Please help your kids to see that the world and life is a wonder and gift from the universe. It isn't always going to be pretty but we are here and believe it or not that can be enough. And when we see that we can enjoy our candy, our car or our vacation without being attached to them.

Do They Like Me?

I want to bebunk a myth that some teachers use to hide the fact that they really have little real interest in their kids. How many times have you heard a teacher say, "I'm not here to be liked. It doesn't matter if they like me or not."? I have news for you. Of course it matters. Just because they are young does not mean that kids are not perceptive. They know whether you have their true best interests at heart. They can feel if you truly care or are just marking time until the end of the day, week, term or even career. And if they truly know that caring and compassion are coming from you they will like you. It has nothing to do with how strict you are, because if you are tuned in to your students, and teach from a place of honesty and truth you will be liked. You may be firm in your expectations but when they know you care, they will be totally okay with that. And you can be easy going, but if there is no heart in it, they will not be okay with it. When your actions come from the heart, your students know it and feel it, and no matter what your teaching style is, they will like and respect you because they are sure you feel the same about them. By all means have your structure and expectations, but take time to find out where they come from, and if you know it comes from a good place you need not be concerned with whether they like you or not. You will see it how they act and what they do. If your methods come from ego, a need to control or anything that is less than honest, they will never learn anything meaningful. To boot, they will not like you and in this case it does matter.

Who Is It For?

Last week a heard a couple of conversations between parents and teachers which truly had me shaking my head. One involved parents who were concerned that their child was only achieving A's and B+'s on their report card and they wanted to know how they could help her improve. The second equally puzzling piece of parenting was the mother who announced that their child spent 2 to 3 hours practicing the piano everyday, on top of several other classes each week which filled in her spare time. Like with the sports parent who lives their life through the success of their child on the field or at the rink, you have to ask the question, "Who is it for?" If the child were given the choice would they decide to spend each waking hour pursuing so called excellence? There is nothing wrong with children striving to do well in school. Following a geniune interest in sports or arts can be rewarding. But filling a child's head with the notion that their worth comes from high marks or trophies is to negate everything that is wonderful in the ordinary life of being a child. Be careful what you expect from your children or students. Ask yourself what the motivation behind it all is. If you cannot honestly say it is for the child themself, then you are fooling yourself and your child.

Shed The Should

One of the words which needs to be trashed or at least put on the back burner when talking about students is the word "should". You hear it all the time when teachers talk about students who don't quite measure up. Jimmy should be reading at such and such a level. Susie should know better than to do that. The list is infinite. We are constantly measuring our kids with some imaginary meter stick. Whenever they fail to meet our expectations we bring out the "S" word. While there are times for concern if a child is showing significant delays, in most cases the expectations and levels we arrive at for our students are completely arbitrary. But many of us are beside ourselves because our kids are not where they should be. The media is one of the worst perpetrators of this myth by constantly implying that kids don't measure up. To what? We move along at our pace and we try to help our kids keep up, but when they are unable or even unwilling, lamenting where we imagine they should be is an exercise in futility. They are where they are. If that is a problem, and let's look deep and see who indeed has the problem, then instead of moaning about it let's see where we can motivate, encourage and nurture their interest and excitement about learning and maybe life.

I repeat, if there are obviously serious issues then we as proffessionals know where to go with that. In most cases though, it is our own egos that make us manic about where our kids should be.

And when you talk to kids, try to get rid of that word. No one wants to here that they should be more like so and so, or they should be acting a certain way. Guide them, re-direct them where needed, but don't make them think they should be anyone else than themselves, because that is exactly who they are and that is totally okay.