Openess

We all know someone who is competely closed off to life, stuck in their ways, unable to bend even when it is clear that their path is going nowhere.



      There are things we like a lot, others not so much.  Sometimes we react to events in one way, other times we behave differently. These are all part of what we are, they come and go in our lives, and that's good.  The problem begins when we start to identify with the way we live, when we start to put labels on ourselves.  You hear it all the time, people mixing up their actions and penchants with who they are. "I'm a no nonsense type of person. I'm stubborn. I don't take anything from anyone. I'm happy go lucky." On it goes. Labels, pigeon holes, categories.  Here's the thing. Behind these identities there is nothing solid, because they are simply ideas we have made up in order to protect ourselves from being real. When we place a stamp on ourselves we have no need to allow anything new into our repertiore, we can simply carry on the way we always have, whether it serves us or not.  The more we identify with all of this, the less we are able to accept new ideas or change the way we look at the world. Soon we are completely closed off, insulated from the flow of life.  How can you possibly deal with young children when you are in this state? Think of some of the teachers you have had and you will easily be able to pick out the ones to whom I am refering. And what did they have to offer to their kids? Nothing, because that's what all that pretense amounts to. Nothing. Getting back to where we started, we all have preferences and biases. Nothing wrong with that. But, remember they are only appearances. They come and go with the flow of life. As long as that is where you leave them, then life will flow course through you as if you were made of mist, but once you start to identify, even cherish these things, you will become cold, frozen, and nothing will be able to pierce your armour. Perhaps you will be safe from life. But what do you have to offer your students, or anyone at this point?

Seeing The Whole Of The Sky

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our kids is to help expand their world. Kids start off with a very small universe, mostly devoted to getting their needs met. As they get older this space begins to grow, away from self, to include others. For some people this only inflates so far before it becomes clogged with personal drama and old stories. Many folk spend their entire lives in this bubble, never seeing the true size of their world. In tantric thought, this is concentrating on the clouds and never truly seeing the wide open sky. We owe it to our children to help them move away from their ego centered existence, so that they are able to enjoy the vastness of life. This isn't easy, as we are often plagued by the same turbulence in our own lives. Truth is, we need to remember that these are only clouds, waves on the ocean if you will. Mind you, sometimes they are huge black thunderheads, tsunami sized waves. But beyond this the sky still reaches out, clear and still. Whenever we help kids see that no matter what is going on in life, life is still there waiting for them and while we don't minimize their issues, we can help them to see that all clouds eventually pass away and reveal the endless sky.

Working With What You Have

Now before we start, I'll  make it perfectly clear. I am not against taking courses and attending seminars to help upgrade your skills. To say such a thing would be irresponsible and foolish, two things that I don't consider myself to be. At least not on most occassions. However, there is a huge caviet to all this upgrading and improving. Many times you are complicating what can be a very simple job, teaching. The act of teaching and working with kids should come as naturally as breathing. That is, if you are someone who was destined to teach and guide kids. Your caring, compassion and ability to work on your feet are qualities that are nourished the more you spend time in the class. No courses can offer these. In your enthusiasm to improve your abilities, refine your teaching methods and become more effective at your job, please don't lose sight of one very important fact.  You have everything you need to become a wonderful teacher already. The problem is, it sometimes becomes buried under the mass of expectations, rules and fears that we all have. And then we mistakenly think that the more we study and attend workshops, the better we will be with children. This is simply not true. Courses may help you deliver your lessons more efficiently, they may help you cover more ground. Certainly they will enable you to work effectively with technology. There is no debating this. But for the basics of teaching; the way you relate to your kids; your way of letting them know you are there for them; your ability to make them smile and be glad they are at school; these things come from a deeper place. That place is already there, inside. By all means, upgrade, improve, renovate and remodel if you must, but always keep in mind that you have what it takes and perhaps it's best to work with that first.

No More Lies

Let's suppose for a moment that we decided to be totally honest, with ourselves and with others. Not the kind of honesty that has to announce that you cheated on your diet, or had naughty thoughts about someone. No, I'm talking about owning up to the lies we tell ourselves to help justify the things we do in this life. Outside of the classroom, and more specifically, in the classroom. When we tell ourselves that we know what is best for our kids, do we?  When we say we are doing what is best for the students, is it? What about the times we act harshly, or make expectations that are out of reach and we convince ourselves that we are acting in our kids best interest. Are we? There are a hundred stories we tell ourselves to make us feel better about the way we carry ourselves in the class. Problem is, in the long run they don't really make us feel better, and they certainly do not make us better teachers. What can make us better is simply stepping back from ourselves for a moment and deeply seeing what we are doing. Deeply looking at our kids. Chances are, if you can do this honestly and with compassion, you will find that a lot of pretense will fall away. Then do you know what you are left with? Truth. A way a looking at what you are doing which has no deception. The charade is gone and you can see what you are doing for what is really is. Then a wonderful thing happens. You start acting from a place of integrity, openess, and compassion. There is no more need to lie to anyone, because what you are doing is completely honest, even when it may not be skillful. And it doesn't matter, because you see things for what they are, not what you want them to be. Then you can't help but make the changes you couldn't never make when you were lying to yourself, and the children in your care.

Just A Moment

Lunch is over.  The kids come into the room laughing, talking and bursting with the joys of spring.  You are ready to begin, but they are not. "Quiet, settle." You plead, beg, bark and threaten, and while they do as they are told, it is clear they are in no frame of mind to listen. There is a beautiful world out there and you have intruded. So what do you do? How about doing nothing. What if the first thing you did after lunch was to let the kids put their heads down for five minutes and just relax? Suppose the first part of your routine was to put on some
soothing music and just chill for a few moments. Oh, I can hear the objections from where I am sitting. "What do you mean do nothing?" "I have an important lesson to teach." "I already don't have enough time, and you're telling me to waste the first part of my afternoon." 

Consider this as the Tao Of After Recess. You spend time trying to get your kids do something they are not ready to do, getting yourself upset and rattling them more. Does it not make just a little sense to flow with the stream, rather than battling against it? I'm not talking about taking the afternoon off and lying in the field picking dandelions, although once in awhile that wouldn't be a bad idea also. I'm suggesting that you stop fussing and fighting and just let go for a few moments before barging ahead into the program. 

When I did this with my kids, they first thought it was a silly thing to do. Then they started to accept it, and later enjoyed the calm after the storm. There were rules though. No talking, no reading, no anything. Just be for five minutes. 

Pretty soon  nobody dares disturb the silence, and when it's over they are usually more than happy to start to play your game again and get to work. Try it a couple of times. You just may turn it into part of your agenda.

Enjoy The Moments

We all love kids, at least we'd better if we're in the teaching profession. Then why do we spend so much time complaining and trying to change them? When I talk with colleagues about the day they had, the first thing I hear is often about how the kids drove them crazy, how so and so should be acting in a certain way and how frustrating it is that Florence or Jimmy don't "get it".
I have one thing to say about that. They're kids for crying out loud. What is it that you are expecting them to get? That's why you are there, to help guide them along. You're not here to fix them. If you try you'll end up driving yourself up a tree, because if the truth be told, there is nothing to fix. Oh, I know that there are times that certain kids try our patience and that is normal, but when this happens it's time to take a step and remember that this is a beautiful, innocent child, someone's kid. Don't spend your days fretting about what's wrong with your students. Enjoy every minute of them. There are wonderful, funny, touching moments that you miss because you are all in a dither about how they should be. Who's measuring stick are you using? If you can't see the fun and magic in dealing with children, then for the sake of everyone, get out of there way and look for another occupation. Then let you can make room for someone who accept kids for who they are.

Helping Kids Get Out Of The Box

We are all taught to live in a certain way. That way varies somewhat across different cultures, but essentially we teach our kids to follow our steps, to live the way that we live as a society. While there is nothing wrong with that, when all we pass down to our kids is our own worn out habits, we do them a disservice. We begin to limit their possibilities. Life is so much more than most of us know. Yet many continue to stumble along blindly living what Thoreau called, "Lives of quiet desperation." The North American dream may lead some to a solid education, good job, nice family and comfortable retirement. But if this is all we let our kids hope for we are not doing our job. We owe it to our kids to encourage them to question our values, scrutinize the way we live and explore the endless possibilities life has to offer. This may not be something you dump on a small child, but as your kids get older and start to ask questions, support them as they probe the world around them. Teach them that a healthy distrust of what they are told can be the spring board to real discovery. This is not to say that all we have built in this world is false, but accepting all we say and buying into the illusions which we pass off as lifestyle, can only result in existing in a half-life. The world has so much to offer and part of our mandate is to bring kids out of their comfort zone so that they can see and experience all of it.

Real Truth

We humans have spent a lot of time searching for the truth. Many feel it can be found in Holy books such as the Koran, Bible or Torah. Others will turn to the words of sages and masters. Some feel truth is only that which can be proved through experience and scientific fact. Yes, elements of Truth can be found there, but you are lucky enough to have it right in front of you. When you next walk into your classroom, take a profound look at everything around you. Listen and watch deeply. Open your eyes and ears. Drop the stories that you tell yourself about life at school. If you can manage that, you will start to discover where truth really lies. It is in the belly laughter of a child on the playground. You will see it in the eyes of the kindergarten kids as they hold hands walking down the hall. If you are lucky enough to watch the kids building a snowman or playing in the sand you will find truth there. Honesty shines through a child's tears when she has fallent and scraped her knee. It rings out in the sounds of young voices singing. You need search no further to see the Spirit of the Universe pouring out Truth and Honesty. Be still and you will recognize it and embrace it. The more you do, the easier it will become and when it becomes natural, you will also start to live more openly, honestly and joyously.

Happy New Year?

Are you happy teaching? Think really carefully about this. When you come home in the evening are you feeling good about what you did today and do you wake up looking forward to the day? Now don't confuse being tired or frustrated, or not wanting to get out of bed on a dark, cold winter morning with being unhappy. You're human and these kinds of feelings are normal. But if you look deeply, honestly, you will know the answer to that first question. If you can't truthfully answer yes, then a few of things need to happen. First, you need to start stepping back and witnessing what you are doing in the class. What makes teaching unfullfilling, what turns it into a chore.? Then you need to ask yourself if are there things you can change that will alter your outlook, make teaching fun again. Having considered that, you come to the most important question of all. Do you really want to change those things so that you can enjoy teaching? That fact is, you are dealing with people's lives here. Much of what you say and do, the energy you give off, can have a profound effect on your kids. If you are teaching for the wrong reasons, if your realize that perhaps this is not your cup of tea after all, please have the courage to re-evaluate your career choice before you do more damage than good. And if you decide that you really love being with kids, but perhaps you are just a little tired or jaded, then go back to the drawing board and decide what it is you can do change things. Remember, you aren't going to change the kids, so you'd better look to yourself if you want changes. Perhaps this is a little harsh, but believe it or not, what you are doing is important and can have an influence which will last longer than your career. Have a happy new year (with a lower case n and y).